Philemon Week 2 Study Guide: Received Back

Community Group Study Guide — Philemon 2: Received Back 
Philemon 

Study Information:
In our previous study guide we learned about how forgiveness involves absorbing the cost of someone’s wrong against us. It is a choosing to no longer hold that debt against them. Jesus used financial terms to talk about sins done against God and each other, because we understand how we are indebted to someone else and the separation in relationship that can cause. The next step after forgiveness is to have an open heart to restored relationship. Forgiveness always hopes for or longs for the ability to be at peace with the other person, if not restored to friendship. 

Paul wrote in Philemon verse 16 to receive Onesimus back “no loner as a bondservant, but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother.” Bondservant was the language of someone who was a household slave in the ancient world. The letter of Philemon indicates that Onesimus had wronged Philemon in someway on his way out. By God’s providence he ran into Paul in Rome and became a Christian and was sent back to be restored to Philemon with a new identity. How did Philemon receive him back? Was restored relationship possible? Let’s explore the change in identity that Onesimus had and learn briefly about the challenge of Reconciliation. 

From Slave to Son (a Change of Identity)
Philemon 15-16
One of the big challenges of the book of Philemon is how a Christian could participate in the Roman institution of Slavery. There are various passages in the Old Testament that speak about rules around slavery (Exodus 21, Deuteronomy 15). In the New Testament, slavery was never outright condemned, in fact there are passages that seem to support it like Colossians 4:1 and 1 Timothy 4:1. Yet, what we learn by surveying the ancient world and the early church is that letters like Philemon and the practice of early Christians eroded the foundations of the institution of slavery. What do we make of all this?

The people of God in the Old Testament were primarily identified as freed slaves, having been slaves in Egypt and delivered by God to the Promised Land. God’s Law also regulated servitude and slavery in a way that brought dignity and humane treatment when compared to the surrounding countries. For example, according to God’s law one’s time of service was limited, one had the opportunity to purchase their freedom, kidnapping or selling people into slavery were prohibited, one could not just punish a slave as they saw fit, etc. Every other nation in the ancient world had no such restriction and people found themselves enslaved by military conquest or kidnapping. Rather than kidnapping of being forced into it, the primary reason someone would be a slave according to God’s law was as a way to get out of debt of poverty.

During the time of the New Testament, the institution of slavery was alive and well in the Roman Empire. It is estimated that around 20% of the population of Rome were slaves. This institution was not pleasant or nice, but it did differ from our history of slavery in the United States. For example slavery in Rome was not based on race or ethnicity, slaves were often manual laborers but also administrators, artists and doctors, and slaves could often be better off financially than “free workers” who depended on finding work day to day. Yet with all that, there were limits to their freedom and their rights to seek justice. There were also harsh penalties for disobedience. Onesimus found himself as a bondservant/slave during that time and place. 

The early church was counter cultural in how they welcomed and received slaves as equal members in the family of God. In fact the church was the only place where slave and free could gather as one. Paul used that imagery to talk about our standing in Christ in Galatians 3:28 where he wrote “we are neither slave nor free, but all one in Christ.” Obviously our life circumstances impact our identity, but Paul wanted us to understand that those things are not our primary identity and that we can come to faith in God on the same terms. 

Paul’s plan to Philemon, “do not receive him back as a bondservant, rather receive him back as a brother (15-16).” This family language is really important because we do not treat other Christians based on status, standing or usefulness, but we receive them as family. Son and daughter language was used by Paul in Galatians 4:4-7 where Paul wrote that the Son of God came into the world undertake law to redeem those under the law so we can be adopted as sons… no longer slaves, but as sons and daughters and heirs through God! This is great news and Paul wanted Philemon to see it as more than just a nice picture, but a reality he could extend to Onesimus through reconciliation, receiving him back as a brother in Christ. 

Reconciliation involves being open to restored relationship. It is a challenge because not every person who has harmed us is immediately trustworthy, but the goal of forgiveness is to have the possibility of renewed relationships. How do you receive people, who wronged you, back as a brother in Christ?

The Challenge of Reconciliation
First, if they are a son or daughter of God you are invited to hold onto hope that they can change. We can sometimes lose sight that God can transform and change people like he has changed us. This is not a quick process, but if someone is a Christian then they have the grace and power of God at work in their life. 

Second, open yourself up to trust slowly. There are some sins and wrongs that are done against us that are quick to overlook but others that sting and do real damage. Restored relationship does not mean immediate trust. However, verses like Romans 12:18 puts it on us to work to be at peace with others. Paul wrote in that verse “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” At minimum, if we have forgiven someone we should strive to be at peace with them and as the Lord leads we can learn to trust them again if that is safe to do so.

Third, look for repentance. Jesus taught that we would need to forgive more than we are capable in our human strength (Matthew 18:21-22). People will wrong us more than we’d like! What is helpful is to look for repentance. Are they trying to turn away from sin? Do they readily admit their wrong? Are they seeing to do what is right before God? The more you see signs of repentance the more possible reconciliation and restored relationship will be. Onesimus was only able to deliver this letter to Philemon because deep down he wanted forgiveness and reconciliation and for God to be honored. We do not know how Philemon received this letter, but Onesimus’s repentance was a helpful factor for him to be received back as a brother.

Finally, reconciliation is out of our complete control. It involves two people and even if reconciliation is not possible we should still strive to forgive and release the debt they hold against us. 

If you are in Christ you are no longer a slave to sin, but are a son or daughter of God. God has given you restored relationship with him in Christ, allow God to work in and through you to have restored relationship with one another. 

At your community group:

Take 15-20 minutes to share about how God has been at work in your life, prayer concerns and pray for one another.

How did God speak to you through the scripture and the sermon this week? 

Discussion Questions:
Read Philemon

How does forgiveness open the door for restored relationship? What did receiving Onesimus back as a beloved brother look like for Philemon?

How did the early church treat slaves differently than the culture? What do you think Paul meant by “receive him back as more than a bondservant?”

Why does Paul talk about our primary identity with God with family language instead of master/servant language?

True reconciliation takes two people, whereas forgiveness requires just one. What are some barriers you face when it comes to restoring relationship with someone you wronged or someone who has wronged you? How does the book of Philemon challenge you to pursue restored relationship?